Week 11, Lady Aberline Likes Jazz Draft 1

Lady Aberline likes Jazz

You're not putting your hand up my dress.
Yes, I will build schools, figure puzzles and talk to animals-
but I am not open for your imagination.

Kin to puppets with weekday names, I shimmy
through life with a boring bun and blue jean jumper.
I crush the track with my bowed Sam and Libby's,
I can't work in the factory or
preside over the museum with ruddy cheeks--
but Handy Man Negri and I have our fun
in jazz clubs far from Make Believe Land.

The smoke thick rooms fill my hair as Negril
wails on the lost dings of the trolley that
makes it all real. Thinking on the delivery of
the day-the only human contact through the wall
and the change of the sweater vest leaves me trapped
unable to taste the flakes of real life slipping away.
I'm known for this because it is my name.

*This came from the exercise of writing from another character's voice. Lady Aberline is the woman in Mister Roger's Neighborhood. After doing some research about her and Handy Man Negril, I found out that both were someone famous on the jazz scene as well. There may be too many allusions here, but I like speaking from her voice. 

Week 10, Nero's Prosciutto Draft 2

Draft 2 from an Anaphora Exercise

Nero's Prosciutto

Here, where the frogs moan their tombstone solos and the rushes yawn,
I think of Venice and laundry, hanging like Nero's prosciutto.
The hemoglobin hues of summer dresses and last night's underwear
entwine. The pastels of past years and the staggering heat of canals
age the wind of middle school days.

There in the musty canals, I butcher the dog's hair like standing rib roast, little bones
wearing santa hats and leafy crowns in tandem.

Week 9, Improv

From "The Carcass" by Baudelaire
And the sky was watching that superb cadaver
Blossom like a flower.
So frightful was the stench that you believed
You'd faint away upon the grass.

There behind the rusty tire well of F150's
the glass eyed, rust colored raccoon quivers
behind the birdcage of desire and hears the
tick of drums and the useless trills of runner's heels
cutting through the dense woods of libraries and
the health department.

Week 9, Free Write

Translation  of Baudelaire's "The Carcass" 
My Words in Bold
Une Charogne
The Charger

Rappelez-vous l'objet que nous vîmes, mon âme,


Rapunzel mouses the object of venom, man and me.
Ce beau matin d'été si doux:
The blue martian eats suduko
Au détour d'un sentier une charogne infâme
And detours under the sentiment of the flaming cologne.
Sur un lit semé de cailloux,
Surrender the lite semen and Clorox.
Les jambes en l'air, comme une femme lubrique,'
The jambs in the air come and lubricate the feminine
Brûlante et suant les poisons,
The Brilliant sauna of poisons
Ouvrait d'une façon nonchalante et cynique
Nonchalant ovaries critique the falcons
Son ventre plein d'exhalaisons.
and venture the plain explosions.

Le soleil rayonnait sur cette pourriture,
Of solitude and rayon with cigarette points in the furniture.
Comme afin de la cuire à point,
Come to defend and cure the point of breaking
Et de rendre au centuple à la grande Nature
and the complete rendering of gratin.
Tout ce qu'ensemble elle avait joint;
Touching and reassembling the awaiting joint. 

Week 9, Pedagogy

This week, I am working to convince my students that poetry is a useful form of writing. Working with my student teacher, we developed lessons where we are reading poems in class required by the GPS, then we are having the students select lines to use as a starter. Although I had some rather good images "The city smells like crumbling buildings"-student and "the post it notes of life stare back through the cave"-student, for the most part, students were confused. I wonder if I went wrong somewhere. Perhaps we didn't work to establish a basis for this work, and so the students are confused about their purpose and their goal. The performance standards focus strongly on literature content, but when it comes to writing, they are more vague. I wonder, should I have done other exercises to set this up before actually having students write? 

Week 9, Response to Classmate's Journal -Darin Metters

In Response to Darin's Post regarding testing:

College for all students limits the opportunities for the majority of our students. Georgia is one of the few states that allows all students to take the SAT. Although I completely agree that all students who wish to go to college should be afforded that right, I do not believe that college for all students is the best path. However, the shift in education recently leans toward methods to prepare students for multiple paths instead of just college. For example, most classes in high school are taught by highly qualified teachers in their area instead of pedagogy, but schools working under Class Keys are focused on the concept of exemplary lessons that focus more on method, application and relevancy, rather than just content. This focus highlights skills verses content. Another example of this shift is happening at our school. We are focused mostly on helping the students who want to exceed, exceed. In doing so, we have found it has little to do with actual intelligence but instead, hard work. Before students attend to information, they must have a reason, instinctively or extrinsically, to focus on that activity. Although I don't have the answer for motivating all students or where the motivation comes from, motivation seems to be the answer to success for our students.

Week 9, Sign Inventory

"The Drowned Children" by Louise Gluck

1. The title of the poem controls the meaning. From her other poems, titling is very specific and important.

2. The speaker is addressing a general "you".

3. The word natural in the second line suggests multiple meanings: natural as in nature of the pond, natural as in how is should be.

4. The use of "they" makes the drowned children generalized and less personal.

5. The personification of the pond "lifting" and "dark arms" gives nature more agency than the children.

6. The second and third stanzas begin with conjunctions: "and" and "but."

7. The list of household items at the end of stanza two that ends in "their bodies" aligns the children with just things laying around the house.

8. The italics at the end are interesting. Could it be the voice of the drowned children?

9. The idea of naming in the third stanza seems contradictory to the anonymity of the children so far in the poem.

10. The idea in the second stanza that death comes to people differently is an interesting characterization of death. 

Week 9, Calisthenics

The dusty violet eye shadow matches the hat of the man at bus station 13.
He says to the urn "By the way, that never worked."
If the world be flesh, the transient sits full of signs weaving to the flashy tunes of tango.
Ditches brim, knock and grind oil from the elaborate affairs of houses.

The supplicants lift great book to anyone-please.
Bridge to bridge he says "Tu sai che l'loco" and brings the allocated souls to metal folding chairs
in milk chocolate.
The exposed ancient pit reads doorways to backyards where pilgrims rub maggots
in the spinning room-always leading to Demeter.

Week 9, Junkyard Quotes

1. "Writers cannot be creative if they are constrianed by the possible evaluation of their work."
Educational Psychology Textbook in a Chapter about Writing
*This is in the creative writing section which is only about a page in the whole book. 

2. "Retinol-A penetrative mask is like the difference between a teenager and a nursing home."
* The lady doing my facial kept saying this as she hooked me up to some face probes. I still don't know what happened, and I don't want to know.

3. "Did Blake really see angels?" -one of my students as we were preparing to read "The Lamb" and "The Tyger".

4. "Chocolate Peanut Butter Smore Brownies" -Paula Dean
I don't how she is still alive. 

Week 8, Improv

"A thinking woman sleeps with monsters.
The beak that grips her, she becomes. And Nature,
that sprung-lidded, still commodious
steamer-trunk of tempora and mores
gets stuffed with it all:"
"Snapshots of a Daughter-In-Law" by Adrienne Rich

A cooking woman sleeps with moths.
The sticky, dust fuzz that sticks to Clorox. Add webs,
that cling to rice, ceremoniously
like the coronas of kings, hand on beard.
The cheeze-its caught like mosquitoes.

Week 8, Reponse to Classmate's Journal

After attending the Billy Collins reading, I was struck with his originality, and fresh, witty commentary. His ability to read with intention was also impressive. His voice was generally flat, but with the slightest inflection, he made his musings more interesting. It was clear that he's been doing readings for a while.

I was also struck by the various reactions to his performance. Most students were impressed, while some considered him too "safe." While it may be true that Collins doesn't tackle very controversial topics, he is undoubtedly a rare talent. And while popularity doesn't necessarily equal quality (see Justin Bieber or Katy Perry), Collins satisfies the harshest critics and poetic ignoramuses alike. He is great for the art because he exemplifies how influential it can be. Even if budding poets realize that they most likely can't make a living writing poetry, the potential for touching others is definitely inspiring. 

I agree that the Billy Collin's reading is a great way to discover poetry and have fun with it. I noted after we left that students would really enjoy that reading because it was so entertaining and fast paced. When I got to school on Wednesday morning, my colleges were shocked to find out that no, it wasn't in a coffee house; no I did not snap or drink coffee; and no, I didn't wear black. I think that most peoples' misconceptions about poetry push them away from wanting to hear it read aloud. Another classmate noted how different a live reading is compared to silently reading to yourself. For Billy Collins, I think this couldn't be more true. In order to get people interested in poetry, they have to enjoy and feel like it's not something above their intellectual or social reach. Although I'm not much of a giggler, and I don't clap very often, overall, the reading offered a different, relevant approach to poetry that "non-poetry" people can enjoy. 

Week 8, Free Entry

This weekend, my husband and I went on a small trip up into the Smoky Mountains. No, no Pigeon Forge for us or even Gatlinburg. We went to see my grandma who lives in Cosby, TN. On the trip up and back, I started a game of counting Flea Markets. I lost count, but there were plenty. Then, I started thinking about all of the "faux" county things I spotted. Here are a few:
"Kuntry Kitchen or Cookin" 
"Come see um!"
"Batatoes" or "Taters"
"Yall ........"
Dixie Stampede
Anything about Sweet Tea is just overdone.  
A sign in our cabin's bathroom called "Rules of the Outhouse"
(It makes it even more ridiculous that this was a really nice, expensive cabin.)

I started thinking: Does something original become cheesy and kitschy when other people outside of that culture say it/do it?  If so, how can we ever avoid cliches in our writing? 

Week 8, Calisthenics

"How to Pick Bean Trees"


Gathering up old boat tires and Irish Catholics,
heading to the creek and washing the burnt religion
happens before heading to the mud ditches covered
in rotting bean flesh.

Moss green pods and split wood shells rot in
the backwoods of McGaha Church in the cove beyond
the masked cemetery.

Here, the mums sings soprano, the hay sings bass,
and the corn husks pick up tenor. The bean trees
read the sacred heart notes, handling the snake
through its reading glass.

Pick up there, climb up,
and you will see the heavenly shoots.

Week 8, Pedagogy

This week, we had a 1/2 day for parent/teacher conferences. Since I only had 1/2 of my students, and I didn't want to start anything new, my students did a poetry project. I handed out 4 poems from varying modern writers. I chose those because my students always like a poem more if the poet is still alive. We read the poems aloud together in class. Then, I had the students re-read the poem and choose three out of the four to work with. Together in partners, they had to answer the following questions:
1. Find one thing that you really like. I told them it could be a word, image, etc. 
2. Find one thing that is really weird or strange. Again, I told them it could be a word, image, etc.
3. Find one thing that you would like to copy.
My students, who usually never work on 1/2 days, started really talking about the poems. I heard them saying things like "those words are really cool together" or "I wonder what they're saying here" or even "what is this about?". Although they are not using the types of specific, academic language we use in class, they still have the essential quandaries for reading and enjoying poetry. It was an interesting assignment that just popped up, literally-I came up with it that morning before class.

Week 8, Sign Inventory

"Empty Glass" from Wildwood Flower by Kathryn Stripling Byer.

Last night I stood ringing
my empty glass under
the black empty sky and beginning, of all

things, to sing.
The mountains paid no attention.
The cruel ice did not melt.
But just for a moment the hoot owl grew silent.
And somewhere the wolves hiding out
in their dens opened, cold, sober eyes.

Here's to you
I sang, meaning
the midnight
the dark moon
the empty well,

meaning myself
upon whom the snow fell
without any apology. 

1. Action in this poem is passive.

2. The "me" and "I" speaker in the poem speaks differently at the end then the beginning.

3. Nature's reaction (or lack of) to the speaker. 

4. Enjambments are violent in comparison to the subject. 

5. The short chopped middle stanza in comparison to the fuller first two stanzas.

6. The use of adjectives are associated, but seem to create a new way to look at cliches.

7. "upon whom" are extremely passive.

8. The speaker are acted upon by other forces, but Nature is active.

9. The "you" is an interesting character.

10. Signing seems like an interesting notion in a quiet, dark setting.

Week 8, Junkyard

1. "Solitude is deep water...."
Emma Bell Miles, The Spirit of the Mountains

Wildwood Flower by Kathryn Stripling Byer
2. "a lone woman haunting the trail
till it ended in chimney-stone cast among
wood sorrel"
"At Kanati Fork"

3. "I have moved as a mule
moves, without joy"
"Thaw"

4. "On the line they are tossed like lost souls"
"Lost Soul"

Week 7. Improv: Late

"Fishing on the Susquehana in July"

I have never been fishing on the Susquehana
or on any river for that matter
to be perfectly honest.

Not in July or any month
have I had the pleasure--if it is a pleasure
of fishing on the Susquehana.

I am more likely to be found
in a quiet room like this one--
a painting of a woman on a wall.

I have never made toast in the Waffle House
or fried ham or eggs
in fact.

Not at midnight covered in drunk
have I made the crispiest, dripping toast-
it sucks, but it pays the tumors of real life.

I dream to be found in Hollywood
going to prison and rehab--
a painting of me on the wall.

Week 7, Sign Inventory

Another Reason Why I Don't Keep A Gun In The House

Billy Collins 

The neighbors' dog will not stop barking.
He is barking the same high, rhythmic bark
that he barks every time they leave the house.
They must switch him on on their way out.

The neighbors' dog will not stop barking.
I close all the windows in the house
and put on a Beethoven symphony full blast
but I can still hear him muffled under the music,
barking, barking, barking,

and now I can see him sitting in the orchestra,
his head raised confidently as if Beethoven
had included a part for barking dog.

When the record finally ends he is still barking,
sitting there in the oboe section barking,
his eyes fixed on the conductor who is
entreating him with his baton

while the other musicians listen in respectful
silence to the famous barking dog solo,
that endless coda that first established
Beethoven as an innovative genius.

1. Most of the stanzas are controlled, 4 line stanzas. There are two exceptions in the middle of the poem, a 5 line stanza followed by a 3 line stanza.

2. "Barking" appears 12 times.

3.  Shift in time and space in the 3rd stanza.

4. Use of music terminology in the last stanza.

5. The title-like we discussed last week-changes the meaning with this poem.

6.  The last line of the 1st stanza, the speaker guesses about the life of his neighbors. Interesting characterization.

7.  Repetition of the same line for the beginning of stanza 1 and 2. It seems that the poem starts over again.

8. "Symphony" and "full blast" are dissonant ideas. Usually, symphonies are typically thought to be calming, not something that causes you to head bang.

9. The dog is in the oboe section.  Specificity.

10. Who is the conductor character leading the whole situation. The relationships of characters in this poem seems significant. The speaker is watching from a window, the dog is alone, the conductor leads, etc.

Week 7, Free Entry

Draft 1: When I Go to Bed
When we go to bed, the frogs moan
and I think of Venice, glass and laundry.

When we go to bed, did I brush the dog's hair
until it was fine with the butcher to pay Tuesdays?

When I go to bed, the fox tickles
the broom, the moss and her-all asleep.

When I go to bed, the elves buzz
the cave with slut's work.

When I go to bed, the faded flower linoleum
curls and rusts for her.

Draft 2: Nero's Prosciutto

Here, where the frogs moan their graveyard trombone,
I think of Venice and laundry, hanging like Nero's prosciutto.
The hemoglobin hues of summer dresses and last night's underwear
entwine. The pastels of past years and the staggering heat of canals
age the middle school wine.

There, where the eel shined water runs from the mold,
I butcher the dog's hair like a standing rib roast. Santa hats,
protrude on the cracked bone.
Linoleum curls the faded flowers and all sleep, except her
who waits for lemoncello to freeze.

Week 7, Response to Classmate's Journal

One of the aspects of creative writing I'm struggling with the most is the time spent in the classroom working on it. Block scheduling does have some advantages, because we have 90 minutes a class. On the other hand, we have so much material to cover in a semester along with all the standards that are on the American Literature EOCT. Right now, I'm doing it about once a week, but I'm not sure if that is enough. It's hard to balance the two things with all the other writing that we have to do. Does anybody else feel the same way? It's just something that I'm struggling with right now.--Chris 


Chris, I felt the same way last year. I tried a few things this year that worked really nicely with my students. As I have mentioned before, my students have a difficult time with purpose. I know that you are seeing this in your classrooms as well due to Facebook, texting, etc. For that reason, we looked at examples from both Facebook and text messages and corrected them. Then, students are responsible for answering a Blog Question each week online. (If you don't have access to myschooldesk.net --you need it). This allows them to write in a technical way that is still appropriate. Another thing I tried was having Writing Wednesday. I started this because last year, my students were not writing enough. I made it like workouts; I picked a day and stuck with it. My students like it because they don't have to bring anything but paper and pen on Wednesday. Also, we may do anything from writing an analytical paragraph to making a brochure. This has helped me integrate High Order Thinking as well as some of the strategies from class. Now, I know that all of these seems nice but useless in the face of testing. Actually, my students have been retaining the information and doing better on common assessments if they write about it. In fact, that's how I've been teaching literary terms. They define setting, they read setting, they write setting.

Week 7, Pedagogy Forum

This week, I worked with my students to create sign inventories for their end of the Nine Weeks Paper. We have been working with signs without actually discussing or naming it. However, I listed everything we have read so far on the board. Then, I asked them to just give me words and things they remember from the literature. This became really interesting for me to see what they actually remembered and what they found interesting and worthwhile. Together, we made a huge list of ideas, characters, and objects. Some of the students were even historicizing the reading by asking, "Did this have anything to do with the Feudal System?" among other questions. Then, as a class, we chose which one seemed most intriguing for that class. I teach 6 different classes, and all of them selected a different sign or nuance of the sign to discuss. Although it takes much preparation, the students really appreciate the fact that they were able to select their topics. This also gave us an opportunity to talk about the nature of "work" when you are writing. One student said, "this didn't take too much time, but you really have to think." That was the best thing he could have said.

Week 7, Junkyard Quotes

"I was born with an abundance of inherited sadness"-Whiskeytown /Ryan Adams

"superfluous ham" -My friend Patrick Whittier describing the dishes at Samba Loca

"Help-my stomach is falling out"-Girl (with her stomach falling out) at Chaos Hunted House
*They have a shack with smoked meats outside, which I found even more frightening.

" But what do the dead care for the fringe of words,
Safe in their suits of milk?" -"Homage to Paul Cezanne by Charles Wright

Week 7, Calisthenics

Lady Aberline likes Jazz

You're not putting your hand up my dress.
Yes, I will build schools, figure puzzles and talk to animals-
but I am not open for your imagination.

Kin to puppets with weekday names, I shimmy
through life with a boring bun and blue jean jumper.
I crush the track with my bowed Sam and Libby's,
I can't work in the factory or
preside over the museum with ruddy cheeks--
but Handy Man Negri and I have our fun
in jazz clubs far from Make Believe Land.

The smoke thick rooms fill my hair as Negril
wails on the lost dings of the trolley that
makes it all real. Thinking on the delivery of
the day-the only human contact through the wall
and the change of the sweater vest leaves me trapped
unable to taste the flakes of real life slipping away.
I'm known for this because it is my name.