Week 1, Calisthenics

Chapter 3: Assumptions from Triggering Town by Hugo

My Assumptions about my town: 

• All the dogs bark in unison. 
• All shitzus bark in unison to Madonna songs.
• People cover their cars in Christmas lights to see at night. 
• The town stays dark to see the falling stars. 
• Everyone buys unleaded gas for their diesel engines.
• One armed stylists cut in the beauty shops. 
• She used to be Miss America before she got fat. 
• The barbers sing along with the dogs to "Material Girl". 
• On November 1st, all the stores close. 
• All the stores open on November 2nd with nothing to sell. 
• Although thought to be named after a WWII hero, the town's namesake was a whore. 
• All banks are connected to a taco/coffee stand. 
• No one eats tacos or drinks coffee. 
• Cereal hangs from trees on Easter. 
• No one likes eggs or candy or rabbits. 
• The mayor forbids white paper-only aquamarine or orange. 
• The poker table runs the mayor. 
• There is no mayor and never will be. 
• Everyone eats egg salad on Tuesdays. 
• No one eats on Tuesdays. 
• The church eats every day.